Lazy op-eds abound. Across all types of media and mastheads. But my favourite (actually my most despised) is the 'I can't live in this city anymore’ genre.
Often framed as a break up letter - 'it's not me, it's you' (geddit?). Or as this genius recently posted, 'I'm cancelling you', it usually involves a well-paid journalist, white-knuckled from pearl clutching, slagging off the various aspects of the city they have lived in for some time.
Key features of this type of award-winning journalism (as described by aforementioned genius) include:
Parts of the city aren't the same as when I was younger, so the whole place is crap. Oxford St and Kings Cross in Sydney frequently cop this criticism. Often blamed on draconian council and planning regulations, while ignoring the gentrification driven by the well-paid knowledge sector workers (including the media and indeed myself) who want the convenience of inner Sydney living, terraces and apartments dripping with character (with enormous renovation potential!) and a solid guarantee that housing prices in the area will keep increasing. Yes, a degree of edginess is welcome. Maybe the odd homeless person or drug addict, but not too many, thanks. Middle class nostalgia for places where human suffering added to the edginess of a night out or for 6 months when you lived in a share house in your 20s can get in the bin.
I had a bad time on public transport, so the whole place is crap. Old mate's 3 hour experience on a train does sound really annoying and I can understand the anger and frustration. More broadly he took aim at industrial disputes for some of these delays. Maybe have a think why transport workers are striking, eh? Heck, you're a journo, maybe you or one of your colleagues could investigate it and write something about it? I dunno. Teachers and nurses strike too. I wonder what is going on? Trackwork? Can’t see why we need that if it’s going to make me late for Pilates. And weather….
The weather is bad, so the whole place is crap. BREAKING: the weather is getting very bad and is going to get worse in the future, no matter where you are. For reasons of brevity I won't explain why this is happening, but a quick Google and you'll work it out.
Justin Hemmes is to blame for everything, so the whole place is crap. Yes, he is high profile and a bit annoying. Perhaps his offerings are a bit similar and many are over priced. But some are also quite good. Some are also terrific. Hemmes looks after around 80 venues. That is a lot. But in a city of 4 million people there are many other places to go that aren’t owned by Juzzie (DM me Mr Culture Reporter if you want some tips)
And let’s talk about the proposed closing of the fucking Indian Home Diner on Oxford St again. The number of column inches dedicated to this minor event (with respect to the owners) only goes to prove that most journos live in the Eastern suburbs. Second only to ‘Should Cranbrook become co-ed?’ think pieces.
I'm no Sydney flag waver. The place also shits me. I get frustrated too when restaurants and pubs close earlier than I'd like and coffees are over $4. I heard the queues at this week's Noodle Market are enormous! I know, the struggle is real. I feel the pain of our train-travelling correspondent who presumably has to travel from North Sydney to Central quite often (helluva trip at the best of times), freaked out by that "maniacal smile of Luna Park".
But it’s a nice spring afternoon as I write this in Sydney and I am drinking a beer. I have done this numerous times in Sydney. By the logic displayed by our budding Elizabeth Farrelly this makes Sydney the best place in the world. Will submit my op-ed to the Herald this evening.
Living anywhere involves trade offs. Cities are hard work. You can’t spell ‘tricky’ without ‘city’.
There are reasons some cities often win the most liveable or friendliest city awards because they often don’t have the problems Captain Insight here moans about. They are often smaller than places like Sydney, things work pretty well as a result, not a lot changes and everything is quite pleasant. Some are great. Many are also as boring as batshit for my preferences.
And for the record, some of my best friends come from Adelaide (they just don't live there anymore, obviously).